So we all know how hard break ups really are. It’s nothing pleasant or a feeling that I’ll be getting used to at all. It isn’t a feeling that anyone should really be getting used to ,to be fair. I’m going to make a post on this because if it means I make someone’s day a little bit better or give them things to go by then I’ll gladly do it.
So the person you loved so deeply is now gone and the relationship you two once shared has disintegrated itself. It’s a tremendously terrible feeling. Although some of the things in this blog post may not be something you want to hear, it’s things that I have learnt from my previous break up and the one I am currently going through. Though please bare in mind this isn’t something I’m making about me. It’s all about you and trying to help yourself out of this because at the end of the day, even with family and friends, you have to become you’re own best friend and help yourself out too.
So this is a little quote that I had randomly found on instagram that had come up on my newsfeed. And honestly, is now one of my all time favourite quotes due to how true it is. The process of healing isn’t just a push of a button-it’s a more gradual process of telling yourself that it’s time to move on and gradually listening to yourself. You truly say your final goodbye once you feel like you’ve been recovering for a lot of time and are ready to start receiving great things life has to offer you.
Here are some steps to take towards recovering from a breakup:
1. Let yourself cry and feel the impact of the breakup. Now, whether your relationship was long or short.Heck, it might’ve not even gotten to the relationship stage with someone you really cared about-this applies to you too. Do not make yourself feel like you cannot cry over things like this. Especially if you’re a guy because I know society still somewhat puts pressure on guys to act ‘manly’. You need to express your emotions rather than suppressing them because it’s not healthy nor smart to be blunt. Your feelings will eventually take over and you’ll feel like you haven’t gotten anywhere with the process.
2. Spend time with family and friends if you can. This part is important. These should be the people that have your back during a scenario like this. They will be the people to remind you that you are loved and supported. They can even give you advice on your case.
However, if in a unique case you don’t have these people to talk to, you can email or call the Samaritans -they are here to help you with any problems you may have with life and are there for you to talk to. If it’s more urgent the. You can call them, though if it’s something that you’re a bit afraid speaking about, you can always email them instead and they’ll get back to you asap.
3. Start getting active and try new things. You may not want to try new things so soon, but trust in that it can actually be therapeutic and can divert your mind and energy into something more worthwhile whether that be a new hobby or going out to a new place. By doing so, you’ll feel more accomplished and more productive than before.
4. Set 5 big goals. I had actually saw this idea in a video I watched the other day. So the idea is that you make 5 big goals that you want done by the end of the year or month and write them down somewhere you’ll see everyday. Make this as challenging and exciting as possible. Work towards these goals each or every other day and try your best to make it happen. Whether that’s losing a lot of weight or getting into the university of your dreams, write it down. Once you’ve accomplished these 5 goals, you will realise that you are no longer the same person as you were before writing these goals-you will have worked towards something giving yourself a huge sense of pride and accomplishment that you deserve to feel.
5. Make this about you-not THEM. Make the healing about you and not them. At the end of the day you need to be feeling comfortable and content with yourself. Part of a breakup is really taking as much as you can from it and using it to your advantage. Take this as an opportunity to grow and flourish from this.
6. Do not rush the process. I know it huts and I know it feels never ending. But I can promise you that following the right steps, you will get through this and be a lot more happier than you can imagine if you just let it happen. It’s important to allow yourself time and space to heal before moving onto the next relationship. This way, you’re allowing yourself to breathe and take the most you can from this.
7. Focus on working on yourself. Now an important thing you should know is that just because a person have broken up with you, does not mean there is something wrong with you. It had happened for a reason and most likely, this reason includes that you need to work on yourself. Regardless of whether you think so, taking this as the opportunity to become a better version of yourself is a very valuable and worthwhile thing to do. Don’t focus on getting the love of your life. Focus on yourself for now and the rest of your life will fall into place.
In fact there’s another quote to support this:
I hope you guys really take Into account what I’ve wrote in this post and I hope it helps you In some form or another. Just remember that because you have been broken up with or broke up with someone that there is something morbidly wrong with you. Things happen for a reason and those reasons will reveal itself within time. It is not your job to play detective and overanalyse of what should’ve, could’ve and would’ve happened if things were a little bit different.
Lots of love,